


unafraid, i was a boy

by commovente



Series: SASO2016: bonus round 2 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-15 01:03:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7199114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commovente/pseuds/commovente
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>older but not necessarily wiser, kageyama considers the difference between starting over and trying again.</p><blockquote>
  <p>tobio has only ever known oikawa from the outside, in: sidelined along the bleachers; from the other side of the net. reaching towards the same thing he’s always been chasing, more afterimage than shadow, <i>oikawa-san, can you please —</i></p>
  <p>tobio’s been looking at oikawa all this time, but oikawa — oikawa’s been looking right back.</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	unafraid, i was a boy

**Author's Note:**

> written as a prompt fill for SASO 2016, bonus round 2: images. the original prompt is [here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/13854.html?thread=5184030#cmt5184030).
> 
>  
> 
> title from bon iver's _michicant_ , [(x)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XScQyx7jqU), which is an oikage jam if ever i heard one.

it’s not the same. it isn’t, but tobio seeks it out anyway, a deer in headlights caught by the doorway, unable to reconcile the sharp silhouette as oikawa serves, one after another, furious, relentless, untouchable. and how could he have? tobio has only ever known oikawa from the outside, in: sidelined along the bleachers; from the other side of the net. reaching towards the same thing he’s always been chasing, more afterimage than shadow, _oikawa-san, can you please —_

the silhouette stops, but oikawa’s still there.

there, right in front of tobio and tobio knows that, knows it because he’s been watching, all this time has been watching but oikawa’s standing _right there_ and tobio’s still — he’s still here. stuck where he stands, not so much recognising oikawa as he is cataloguing everything he doesn’t. 

the volleyball in oikawa’s hands drops to the floor before bouncing back into his hands, tobio’s eyes following along before continuing higher, slipping up the rest of the way to oikawa’s face before jolting. oikawa tilts his head to the side as tobio refuses to let his do the same and face the floor again. tobio’s been looking at oikawa all this time, but oikawa — oikawa’s been looking right back.

his exhales come light and quick, travelling past the resounding in his head as tobio takes a moment to wonder what else he’s missed, if maybe there’s anything else he didn’t notice —

the outward jut of oikawa’s right knee. white kneepad, suntanned skin.

broad shoulders, resting loose and endless.

oikawa’s hand, his fingers, trailing up and up and up through the air.

 — from this close, he can’t tell the difference between their heights at all, face to face, eyes meeting eyes. when oikawa’s fingers point to tobio they’re spread out, palm open and questioning, no accusations left but tobio’s own.

“if it isn’t tobio-chan,” oikawa says, “it’s been a while.”

and it has. it has and now tobio doesn’t know what to do, shake oikawa’s hand or use it to tug oikawa nearer or pull himself forward instead. tobio blinks. his hand moves before he knows what to do with it. 

grasping oikawa’s, tobio doesn’t shake or tug or pull, just holding on, one moment into two into three before letting go again. his fingers don’t shake but tobio thinks they feel like his own again. he tries to remember how to breathe.

then he says, slowly: “yeah. it has, it really has.”

“so? is that it?”

it’s not, but tobio doesn’t know how to say it. or at least, not in a way that oikawa would understand.

but maybe oikawa understands anyway: “tobio-chan. i don’t think you came here just to watch.”

“no, i — practice doesn’t start until this afternoon.”

“that’s true,” oikawa allows. “what are you going to do until then?”

anything. everything. nothing. he squares his shoulders, he takes one step forward, then another. tobio walks to oikawa. he’s not sure what it is yet, but it’s something. whatever this is he’s doing, he’ll definitely make sure it’s something.

“i’d like to show you, “ tobio says. he doesn’t add _if you like_ , or _if you’ll let me_ , because he’s not sure he wants to know, not yet. but it hangs in the air, there for oikawa to hear if he decides to listen. maybe oikawa has, but he hasn’t left yet, waiting for tobio to continue. so tobio does. looking oikawa in the eye, tobio tries again.

“have you got time? i can show you. oikawa-san.”

oikawa’s mouth opens, so tobio quiets down, still but not unmoving, and listens.

 

_so, that incredible grand king ended up scaring you all over again?_

_…yeah. he really did._

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!


End file.
